Merry Christmas, My Friends!

I expected yesterday and today to be difficult. They weren't. I've actually had one of the best Christmases I've had in years. DD and I are all about making new traditions this year. Last night, about 9:00, we went on a light hunt. Light hunts are a Christmas tradition for DD and me since she was just a tiny little thing, but last night was the first one we've done on Christmas Eve. I'm sure it's obvious what that is, but just in case, I'll explain. We simply drive around and look for Christmas lights. Last night's hunt went on for more than an hour and we were both content to simply be together and enjoy multi-colored lights like two little kids. :-) For the past 17 years, our usual Christmas Eve dinner has been pepperoni pizza (that was a change from my childhood in which we always had clam chowder). Well, we decided to have white chili instead, and it was a lovely change.

Another new thing for us: we waited until this morning to open presents. This is the first time in 52 years that I haven't opened presents on Christmas Eve, and it felt good to change it up. After opening presents (oh, and the first time in many years I've had more than one present to open and not known what I was getting! My girl did a great job picking out meaningful gifts--she knows me so well), we got ourselves ready and drove across town to the Loaves and Fishes Meals on Wheels Belmont Center to deliver meals to homebound seniors. Wow. What a great experience! We both loved it and look forward to doing it again. I'm so proud of my girl.

Let's reverse for just a second. My sweet girl picked out some beautiful Swarovski chrystal penguins for me and wrote "Ode to Mother" in her Creative Writing class which she included with the gift (complete with a graphic of mother and baby penguins; apparently penguin mommies are great mothers :-)). Here's the ode. Yes, my heart filled right up and I cried when I read it. And, notice the appropriately hyphenated compound adjective "mother-daughter." That's my girl!

Ode to Mother

Keeping me sane

Your undying love comforting my dreams

Trusting and understanding

Oh, how you make me feel loved

The mother-daughter relationship is strong,

But our friendship is like no other

You are absolute perfection

Loving me no matter the roadblock

Even if father doesn’t understand, you do

Topping my intelligence by a lifetime

You are my best friend

Guiding my way past the pain

You are everything a daughter could ask for

Making up for his absence

Don’t be sorry, don’t cry,

He is never worth your pain

Just you and me now

We are the perfect team

Keeping me sane

Comforting my dreams

I love you

As my friends, you already know that my biggest concern is how DD is doing and whether I'm helping or hindering her making it through this with as little trauma as possible. Does she have a way with words or what? Tears in my eyes again.

So, it's been a lovely Christmas and I'm happy to say there's an end in sight. LCB and I have reached a settlement agreement--he reneged and then a couple days ago apologized for being such an ass (his words) and the deal is back on. His attorney is writing it up and should get it to my attorney the 3rd or 4th. If we stay on track, I should be a single woman by the end of March and financially detached from him by the end of April. That's right: no spousal support. No child support either, but he's the one who's got to live with that one. So, I'm sleeping again and looking forward to the passage of the next few months. We'll see if he sticks to it (yes, I made him sign it). I'm not holding my breath, but I'm hopeful.

Thank you, again, for the emotional support, for being an ear when I need one, for caring about my pain. I'm coming out the other side and optimistic about my future. Oh, and I'm painting the living room, kitchen and downstairs bathroom this week. Change is good.